I talked to an eating disorder therapist for the first time and she decided that, based on the duration and severity of my disorder, an intensive approach is probably the only way I’ll get better.
It still doesn’t really feel real… I never expected this.
(Source: birdmonster)
I have four finals in the next three days that I am completely unprepared for, and all I’ve been doing all day is binging and purging and trying to ignore the fact that I have actual responsibilities.
(Source: birdmonster)
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(Source: birdmonster)
(Or in my case antipsychotic, but works the same) ;)
(Source: birdmonster)
(Source: birdmonster)
I just dissociated like crazy. It was like a switch was hit. Now my whole body feels numb and my vision is different. It always feels like I’m watching a movie through a lens; like I’m really far away, in a different world, invisible, watching… I wonder if scientists know why this happens yet? Dammit, this better go away soon, I can’t do this on top of finals.
Sometimes I wish I could just ask my brain what the f*#k it thinks it’s doing?
(Read more: *Trigger warning*)
(Source: birdmonster)
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Another line that pops into my head repeatedy is “You haven’t eaten, you don’t have to feel guilty.”
Please don’t buy in to these thoughts. Please never ‘try’ to get an eating disorder. It sucks the rest of your life away—you have no social life, don’t want to go out because you feel too fat/tired/sick, you can’t think about anything but the ED, morning till night—this is the reality of eating disorders, and you DO NOT want this. They’re not glamorous, you’ll never feel pretty enough to want to show off your body, and not to mention they kill 5-10% of sufferers. Please, if you’re telling yourself thoughts like the one above, seek help from a doctor, counselor or nutritionist. Eating disorders effect people of any weight—it’s in the thoughts. It’s never not serious enough to seek treatment. You’re worth it. <3
(Tagging pro-ana/mia, thinspo, etc so that everyone can read this, whether they choose to take the advice or not.xx)
(Source: birdmonster)
